Lessons from 2010, and Grapefruit-White Chocolate Macarons

While I'm not the biggest believer in new year resolutions, I am a big believer in taking time at the end of each year to think about what's happened and what I've learned.  This year, 2010, was, for me, one of those incredible years in which so much happens and so much changes--one of those years in which nothing goes according to plan and the universe throws literally everything it can think of at you.  But, all of it, in the end, turned out for the best (I think!), and I've taken quite a few important lessons to heart along the way, which I hope you don't mind that I share here.  (And, I'd love to hear what you've learned in 2010 in the comments below!)

Lesson 1.  It's important to be scared.

One of the major changes that happened this year was that I switched from my original and intended field of study in school to a different one altogether, basically upsetting every plan I'd ever made for myself within linguistics.  When I confessed to one of my advisors how deathly scared I am of being in this new field, she calmly said to me, "Being scared is good for you, Stephanie. You need it."

My advisor, as usual, was completely right.  Being scared really kicked my once-lazy butt into gear.  And, having to constantly face up to and overcome things that scare me taught me that, when I put my mind to it, nothing is insurmountable, even if it may seem that way initially.  Sure, I'm still pretty terrified about my new position in linguistics, but the important thing is that I'm not petrified by it.

Lesson 2.  Hard work pays off.

Growing up, my mom always accused me of skating by on "talent," that I never worked hard for anything I did.  And I can admit now that she was right.  But lacking "talent" in this new field of study I'm in, having to play catch-up this late in my graduate career, and being plain ol' scared forced me to work harder this year than I've ever, ever worked before.  (Side effect, though: sleeping less than I've ever, ever slept before...!)  Practice and dedication, it turns out, can make up for a lot.

For example, at the beginning of one of my school terms this year, I remember being so afraid and so intimated by this one professor that I seriously considered dropping out of her workshop because I thought that I just didn't know enough about the topic to keep going.  Thankfully I didn't, because by the end of the term, I'd learned and practiced so much that I could carry on a proper and in-depth conversation on the topic with the professor and offer insights that she hadn't thought of!  That was one of the best and exciting moments of 2010 for me--realizing that through all of the late nights and painful work, I'd actually improved!

Lesson 3.  Be super thankful for the people around you.

I would have never, ever gotten through the vicissitudes of 2010 if it weren't for the incredible support of those around me.  At every point throughout the year when things took a turn for the worst, someone always stepped in to help me out of it, making me realize how unspeakably lucky I am to have an invaluable support structure to lean on when I need it most.  Now more than ever, I am appreciative of people who have faith in me even when I don't: just knowing that someone out there believes in me forces me to work harder and try to live up to that expectation.  It's the one of the best motivators!  (On a related note, never let nay-sayers get you down, either!)

For the final recipe of 2010, I really wanted to make macarons because they represent to me a perfect embodiment of the lessons that I've learned this year.  I started out 2010 making successful macarons before I had read very much about them.  Then, as I started reading more and more about macarons and hearing about how fickle they are, they became incredibly intimidating to me.  Suddenly, every batch that I pulled out of the oven was a huge failure--cracked tops, sunken tops, lack of feet, under-baked, completely brown--you name it, it happened.  Finally, I just gave up and stopped making macs altogether.

One day, I realized how foolish it was of me to completely abandon macaron making just because I was scared of them, and I decided that I would make macarons and only macarons until I got them perfect again.  It turns out that what happened was that I'd memorized the recipe wrong, (stupidly) placing the rack in the wrong section of the oven, but even after I figured that out, I kept practicing batch after batch until the macaron shells came out consistently and to my liking.  And now, I can make macarons.

These grapefruit and white chocolate macarons (grapefruit shells with white chocolate buttercream and grapefruit curd) are for you all--a little tart and sweet (just like 2010 was) to accompany your midnight flutes of champagne--as a thank you for all of the support that you've given me on the blog this year!  It's truly been an extraordinary year, and knowing that there are people out there that I can share my love of desserts with (even virtually) is always a comfort for me and makes me so happy!  :-D!  So, thank you!  and Happy New Year to everyone!  May 2011 bring us even more valuable lessons--and more importantly, even more delicious sweets and eats!

--Addendum--

In 2010, I...

visited Baltimore.

had my first photography exhibit.

stayed in the Northern California redwoods--one of my favorite places on earth--for a week.

ate rhubarb for the first time.

met hosts of fabulous food lovers.

was cited for the first time in an academic journal.

made two wedding cakes.

went to Los Angeles to visit one of my best friends--twice!

took a photo-walk at Monterey Bay Aquarium.

wrote roughly 2600+ tweets.

had so many wonderful friends over for dinner and dessert.

submitted my first academic article for review.

had finger surgery.

attended two schools.

went to Bouchon and Tartine bakeries.

posted 12 different pancake recipes.

had Korean fried chicken to celebrate Hanukkah.

Read on for recipe...

To you all...

Best wishes for the merriest of Christmases!

<3, Stephanie

PotW: Christmas Morning: Cranberry-Nutmeg Pancakes with Lemon Curd

When it comes to the holidays, I'm a huge stickler for tradition.  I always cook fish on Thanksgiving.  I always make a shopping trip to San Francisco in the days leading up to Christmas, even if I don't need anything.  Despite the fact that my parents have long ago upgraded their tree, my Christmas tree is still this old fake one that doesn't even look like a tree, carted by hand by my grandfather decades ago all the way from Taiwan and decorated with pipe-cleaner ornaments that I made in kindergarten or with ones that I've received as presents throughout the years.  Even the star on top of the tree is an old, taped-together end of a fairy wand that I used to have as a kid.  I firmly believe that tradition gives things character and whimsy, and they let you enjoy just a tinge of comforting nostalgia at the end of every year.

Another Christmas tradition that I always had was waking up in the morning and practicing piano before opening presents--granted, this started out more as a forced lesson in discipline imparted by my parents than a "tradition," but over the years, it grew into part of my Christmas morning routine.  But, after I moved away and my piano moved with me, I can no longer wake up on Christmas morning in my parents' house and play before the day gets started.  So, I've since replaced that musical tradition with a food one: Christmas morning pancakes.

Each year, I ask my dad a few days before Christmas what kind of pancakes he'd like, and the answer is always "blueberry."  While there's nothing wrong with blueberry pancakes, I decided this year that we need a little creativity, so this is what I'm planning on making come Christmas morning: cranberry nutmeg pancakes with meyer lemon curd and warmed cranberries.

I knew that I wanted to make something with meyer lemons, because I always regard meyer lemons as nature's little Christmas gift to me--they show up right before the holidays and mark the beginning of my favorite citrus seasons: meyer lemons and, shortly thereafter, blood oranges.  Then, I've sort of been fascinated by cranberries as of late whenever I've been in the kitchen, transforming them into everything from cranberry sauces and cranberry bavarians to cranberry savory dishes.  Plus, they seemed like a natural stand-in for blueberries to appease my dad: round little colorful fruits in his pancakes.  Together, I love how the sweetness of the meyer lemon curd complements the tart bursts of the fresh cranberries perfectly.  Since it's usually cranberry sauce that's sweet and lemons that are sour, this role reversal is a fun variation for the taste buds.  And, can I mention how Christmas-y the bright red cranberries look?!

Anyways, I hope that you are all having sweet and wonderful holidays and enjoying your traditions, both old and new (make sure to tell me about them in the comments below!)!  Here's wishing you a fantastically merry Christmas, an awesome winter solstice, and a happy everything else in between!

Read on for recipe...

[previous Pancake of the Week: Chai pancakes with black tea-poached plums]

Pumpkin Pie with Caramel Brandy Hard Sauce

The perfect antidote for working so hard that you honestly don't know what day it is anymore and the sun rises and sets without you even noticing?  Old friends and good food.

Two of my wonderful linguist friends from college came to dig me out of my hole visit me yesterday, and we spent the day laughing and catching up and cooking amazing food and walking around the deserted campus in the brisk cold--and, for me, basically learning how to have fun again.  It was nothing but absolutely divine.

For lunch, we whipped up a vegan feast, gossiping, giggling, and reminiscing with each other while cooking away in the kitchen:

fresh dragonfruit

arugula, pomegranate, toasted walnut, and candied ginger salad with lemon-tangerine vinaigrette 

roasted acorn squash with sage, meyer lemon zest, cherry wood-aged balsamic vinegar

sauteed kale with onions and fresh cranberries

mint and licorice tea

Danish chocolate wafers and coconut-cinnamon sorbet

After living on almost nothing but frozen pasta'n'cheese, peas'n'carrots, and strawberry lemonade from Chez Trader Joe's for the past few weeks of paper-writing and finals, this meal was exactly what I needed: fresh, in-season, minimally and beautifully prepared greens and reds and oranges and whites, with a side of lovely conversation, familiar company, smiles, and laughter.  Food for the soul, indeed.

In the evening, after one of my friends had to leave, my other friend and I were commiserating about both having sadly missed out on pumpkin pie this year for Thanksgiving when it hit us: we clearly needed to right this wrong and make pumpkin pie.  And so we did, and I have to say, this pumpkin pie with caramel brandy hard sauce is probably my favorite pumpkin pie I've made to date.  The crust is super flakey, brushed at the last moment in the oven with heavy cream and sprinkled with turbinado sugar to give it extra gloss and crunch.  The filling is the perfect custardy consistency, packed with spices and not overly sweet at all.  But what really, really makes the entire pie is the caramel brandy hard sauce very generously drizzled on top.  Caramel on its own is good, but caramel with brandy?  We were eating the stuff straight out of the pot before it even hit the pie.

So if you feel overworked this holiday season, here's my prescription for you: old friends, raucous laughter, a fresh, hearty meal, and caramel brandy hard sauce (really, the pie is optional).  That combination will cure a lot.


Read on for recipe...

Gorgonzola, Pear, and Balsamic Honey Galette, and Q&A Part 2

When the holidays roll around, I totally get sugar overloaded.  Between the cookie swaps and the baked goods-laden office holiday parties and the highly addictive ginger fudge that dear friends bring for you from Scotland--all of which are delicious, mind you--, it gets to be just too much sweet, even for a sugar-addict like me.  So here's my solution: disguise the cheese course as something between dessert and dinner: a gorgonzola, pear, and balsamic-honey galette with toasted walnuts and a thyme-flecked crust.  = layers of juicy sliced pears accented by crunchy and nutty toasted walnuts sitting on a bed of pungent melted gorgonzola cheese, all wrapped up in a flaky crust with sweet balsamic honey glaze.  It's sweet and savory rolled into one and made extra perfect by a glass of red wine and just maybe a fireplace, if you have one (here's a virtual one, if you don't).

Now to finally return to part two of answering your questions before we all get far too wrapped up in the holidays and completely forget about it!  (Looking for part one?)  Okay, ready?  here goes...

Q: If you could only have one spice in your kitchen cabinet, what would it be?

Oh, this is a super tough one.  My first instinct would be nutmeg.

Q: You have tons of great recipes (thanks!), but do you have fails, too?  How much experimenting do you have to do before the recipe comes out right?

Oh yes, I have plenty of baking and cooking fails, plenty of stuff that goes straight from oven to the trash.  When I was learning to make macarons, for example, my roommate would gawk at how many trays of perfectly edible but chewycrackedsunkenfootless macarons were tossed.  (Turns out, part of those macaron failures were caused by the fact that I had just memorized the recipe wrong, but still.  ><)  How much experimenting I have to do really depends on how much I'm fiddling with an existing recipe or whether I'm developing a new recipe from scratch.  One valuable lesson I've learned though is that following my instincts usually saves me from recipe failure--it's really the times when I deviate from what my inner voice is telling me that things start to go seriously wrong.

Q: What is your favorite dessert to make?

I can't decide!  Really!  Can I cheat and say that my favorite dessert to make is the one I'm making at that point in time?

Q:  Do you have any embarrassing baking stories to share?

I do!  So many!  Perhaps the most infamous of my embarrassing baking stories happened the night before my senior English thesis was due in my college years.  My professor had invited all of us in the seminar to her house for dinner the night the thesis was due so that we could turn in our work and then enjoy a good meal together.  For some reason or other, I was elected to bring the dessert, for which I planned to make a chocolate Viennese layer cake.

But, I am and have always been a huge procrastinator.  (And perhaps I was worse as an undergrad, though that's seriously debatable.)  And so there I was, the night before my thesis was due with a thesis to write and a cake to bake--oh, and I didn't start until well past 10pm because I'd also had rehearsal, et cetera, earlier that evening.  At the same time, I wanted to make some lemon lavender pound cakes as thank yous to my professor and some other people in the class who'd helped me out on a different project.  So long story short, I'm there, baking and writing my thesis simultaneously.  I finish the lemon lavender pound cakes without a hitch, but by this time, it's about midnight already.  I then get started on the chocolate layer cake.  The first problem: I'd left one of my cake tins at my parents' house so I could only bake one layer at a time.  The first layer goes in and comes out perfectly.  The second layer goes in, and while it's baking, I get back to work on writing my thesis.  Until...

Oh crap!  I didn't set the timer on the oven!  !#$)*&!  I was a far less experienced baker back in those days, and our apartment oven didn't have a window, so I (stupidly) kept opening the oven door to check on the cake--which of course caused the cake to fall.  *That* went directly into the trash.  By this time, it's about 2am and I still have half of my thesis to write and no dessert to bring.  And I decide to start over, but with cupcakes instead of a layer cake.

Now comes the second problem: my cupcake tins at the time were hand-me-downs from, like, the 80s from my mom, so they were pretty horrific looking, with random black stuff caked all over them.  Not all of the cupcake molds were filled by the recipe I had so after a few minutes in the oven, the oven started smoking fantastically... which of course set off the fire alarms! ... which of course woke up my extremely angry roommates ... and of course it's well past 3am at this point ... and of course I still have a thesis to write.

Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhh.  In the end, the cupcakes were finished as was my thesis.  The dinner party at my professor's was lovely, and I returned home to an exploding and disastrous mess in the kitchen to clean up.  Moral of this story, kids?  Don't try to write your thesis and bake 2 cakes in the same night.

Q: Do you listen to music when you cook?  What is your musical playlist for when you bake?

Do I listen to music!  Perhaps this is best illustrated by a crappy cellphone photo my friend took of me one day while I was baking...

Yes, that's me, and yes, I dance and sing ridiculously when I cook!  The musical accompaniment to the photo above was this song, but really, I listen to anything and everything when I'm in the kitchen.  My playlist lately has been Christmas music (of course), Girltalk's All Day mix, random pop songs, and a recording of California All-State Wind Band 2003 (it was a particularly good year).  My roommate and I also went through a time period when we memorized the entire Avenue Q soundtrack in the kitchen.

Q: Which one of your PotW is your favorite?

Ooooo, hmm.... I'd have to say these meyer lemon ricotta pancakes with lemon curd and warmed blueberries.  Mainly because I'm addicted to meyer lemon curd.

Q: Which do you think is best: rice, pasta, bread, potatoes?

Rice. When I was young, they called me "rice tub."  No joke.

Q: If I gave you $10,000 to go on a holiday (and you could only spend it on a holiday), where would you go?

At this point, I'd say anywhere but here!  I'll take anywhere nature-y and away from too much civilization where I could walk around with my camera all day and try to capture the beauty of the world on film a little SD card.  Antarctica!  The Maldives!  the deserts of Egypt!  The Canadian Rockies (a personal favorite)!  the American Southwest (another personal favorite)!  Costa Rica!  oh, *sigh*  Why must you torture me with thoughts of a holiday?!

Q: I know on your 'about page' you said you don't know what you want to be in the future, but have you gotten any closer to the answer?  What do you want to be when you grow up?

If there's any lesson that I've really taken to heart and had to learn in 2010, it's that the best laid plans of mice and men always go awry.  I've always been a planner, and when things finally blew up in my face this year, I'm trying out a new philosophy: do now, plan later.  So now, I'm working on being the best damned linguist-cum-food-photographer-on-the-side I can be, and we'll see how that works out.  And, as a mid-life crisis, you know, maybe I'll open my own dessert studio.

Q: "Want to know what 'random forests' really are?" <- Yes! I want to know!

Okay, for you crazies out there, see this quick start guide to random forests here.  In short: it's a statistical method.

Q: Can you give more info on the Bay Area Food Bloggers get-together?

If you're in the Bay Area, make sure you're part of the Bay Area Food Bloggers Google group!  We always have get-togethers in the works.

Thank you all for your wonderful questions!  I hope you have as much fun reading the answers as I had answering them. :-)  I know I haven't answered your food photography-related questions, but I'm working on that as a special pet project over Christmas break, I promise....

Now, onto cheese and pear and flaky nom-niness!


Read on for recipe...

Wait for it...

Getting less than six hours of sleep every night since September (and around three or four on average) is finally catching up to me, and I find myself falling asleep everywhere--walking, sitting, reading, writing, typing, blogging.  I have jet lag without ever having left the time zone!  (My friends and I have decided to coin the term "grad lag.")  Anyways, on that note, I'm forcing myself to bed "early" tonight in hopes of resetting my internal clocks, so the post I have planned for tonight will have to wait until the morning.  Until then, the sweetest of dreams to y'all!

For a peek of what's coming tomorrow, hop on over to flickr....

An Orchid Wedding

So I hinted in my last post that I had a special project that I rushed back from Thanksgiving for: this is it!  A wedding cake!  And quite possibly my favorite one that I've done to date.

Normally, I don't take wedding cake orders in the middle of the school year, much less on the weekend *right* after Thanksgiving (yes--try to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and make a wedding cake in one weekend...!) and *right* before finals/papers season.  But, when J approached me about making her wedding cake and told me that her wedding was an Asian theme, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity, especially since I'd been itching to make sugar orchids for ages now.  J was gracious enough to give me plenty of free reign in designing the cake, which I love, (her one request being that it be TALL) and when I finally sat down with her to show her my sketches, she picked out the one design that I'd sort of sketched as an improbable "fun" drawing, never meaning to make it.  But that's the one she wanted!

And I have to say, I love how it turned out!  The orchid flowers, buds, and leaves were all handmade out of sugar paste and painted with colored flower dust.  I was a bit worried for a while about how I would support the sugar orchids on a tall stem, but a trip to Home Depot totally solved that problem quickly (thanks to Anita of Dessert First and her husband, Mike, for pointing me in that direction), and the drama that the tall orchid stem added to the cake was fantastic.  People kept thinking they were real orchids on the cake, too!--even the bride, who was well-aware that I'd planned to make sugar flowers!

The cake itself was a dense dark chocolate cake with dark chocolate ganache studded with crystallized ginger slices, mango and fresh ginger curd, and mango and vanilla buttercreams.  J and S really wanted a mango and chocolate cake, and I added the touches of fresh and crystallized ginger to tie into the Chinese theme of the wedding.  The vertical buttercream stripes on the cake were meant to provide an illusion in the height of the cake.  And I particularly liked the white sugar pearls that I added at the last moment for even more texture and detail and to reflect the sparkles in J's wedding dress.

One of the best parts of the whole day was how incredibly well the cake matched the rest of the wedding.  The rooms were all decked out in a ravishing array of beautiful orchids of every type and shape and color imaginable, with tiny orchid plants on every table as party favors for the guests to large orchids scattered about the doors and entry tables.  The orchids on the cake even matched the orchid in J's hair perfectly, though we hadn't planned it that way at all.

Congratulations to J & S for their absolutely gorgeous wedding!  Thank you so much for letting me be a special part of it!

[For dessert and cake order inquires, please write to s {at} dessertsforbreakfast {dot} com.]

A Whirl in the City of Angels: Thanksgiving 2010

Every year, it's tradition for me to hop in the car or on a plane down to Los Angeles and spend Thanksgiving with one of my best childhood friends, who's currently working down south. This year's trip was a particular whirlwind, since (1) I was so busy in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving that I had zero time to even think about going away, and (2) I had to rush back immediately after Thanksgiving for another event (more on that later on in the week). So here's the chronicle of this year's Thanksgiving trip.

Driving south with fellow Stanford-ites.

The view over Pacheco Pass.

--Scenes from Los Angeles--

I got in late Tuesday night after a long drive down Highway 5.  On Wednesday morning, we hit up the wonderful Santa Monica Farmers' Market (was too busy shopping for food to take any photos) and then planned our Thanksgiving menu over delicious bowls of pho.

That's Jessi, whom I've known since fifth grade! ^

Then, I cooked Thanksgiving dinner in under five hours.  I'm quite proud of that fact, especially since I had no clue what I would make before going to the farmers' market that morning.  Granted, I had numerous helping hands, without which I could never have pulled this one off!  (We had Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday, since people usually have other plans on Thursday.)

--Scenes from the Thanksgiving kitchen--

Thanksgiving Menu 2010

Jerusalem artichoke citrus mint salad

Jalapeño cornbread with garlic chive goat cheese spread

Lemon rosemary pepper trout

Garlic and herb-ed chicken legs

Roasted crabapples wrapped in prosciutto and thyme

Haricot verts with fresh cranberries

Caramelized rainbow carrots

English peas with mint

Garlic mashed potatoes

Pomegranate-ginger cranberry sauce

Roasted delicata squash with sage, balsamic vinegar, and olive oil

Roasted figs with fresh ginger honey syrup and salted pistachios, over vanilla ice cream

Dark chocolate "thing" with pumpkin mascarpone cheese, vanilla whipped cream, and caramel

Suffice it to say that the food all went over terrifically, and we ended our night with delicious roasted ginger figs, chocolate pumpkin dessert, and hilarious moments of Apples to Apples.

---

Thanksgiving morning = post food coma food coma

chili cheese homefries and whipped cream waffles

Thanksgiving day dinner: Doing the "Asian" Thanksgiving

kimchee, banchan, and rice in K-Town

Then, on a plane, homeward bound....

--Epilogue--

Just because I had a whirlwind of a Thanksgiving doesn't mean that I didn't have time to seriously reflect on what I'm truly thankful for this year: the incredible and unbelievable support that I receive from the wonderful people in my life.  If there's anything I've learned from this past year, it's how unspeakably lucky and fortunate I am to have the support, faith, and encouragement that I do, how I have people to fall back and rely on when things get particularly rough and life starts throwing massive amounts of s*** your way.  The amount of gratitude that I feel for these people who stand by me can hardly be properly or fully expressed in words, and I'm deathly afraid that I'm not really doing them any justice in this clunky "thank you" paragraph...!

---

Anyways, I hope that you all had a great, relaxing, and yummy Thanksgiving!  Now, onto the holiday season!  Tinsel!  Christmas lights!  Hot chocolate!  --Here. I. Come.